Porky Minch

OOC Information:
Name: Annoying Optional Boss

Are you over 15? Oh, yes.

Contact: AIM: zeaob, Skype: froncentrate

IC Information:

Name: Porky Minch / Pokey Finch

Canon: Mother

Age: 12 years old. Although he claims to be thousands of years old in the third game, only his childlike body has gone through severe aging.

Preincarnation Appearance: http://local-static1.forum-files.fobby.net/forum_attachments/0020/1476/Parting_Porky.png

Any differences: Reincarnated Porky wears the same white shirt and overalls he used to wear in Onett. His skin is no longer blue and aged and his hair is back to being blonde.

Preincarnated History: http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Pokey_Minch

Porky has lived his life for up to twelve years in the town of Onett. Onett is in a country based off of the United States aptly called Eagleland. Much of Porky’s life has been limited to suburbia, though certainly closer to more rural areas than a big metropolis like Fourside. His mother, Lardna, was neglectful and unsatisfied with her life, as evidenced by her affair with Mr. Prettyman. His father, Aloysius, was abusive and believes beating his children is acceptable. In time, he had a younger brother, Picky, who grew up to be the more responsible one.

With school also being no source of solace, as none of the other kids took to him, he found no acceptance and perceived that he was hated. His selfishness and self-preservative nature grew as time went on.
In the process of that, though, he struck up a friendship with his neighbor, Ness. Out of everyone, Ness was the only one that took interest in him and offered him company. Porky began to admire Ness for being so kind and cool. Over the years, others began to notice the same. They accepted Ness while excluding him. Porky began to grow jealous of Ness for having everything he wants: friends and a loving family. Preoccupied with all that he doesn’t have, he pushed Ness farther away and ignored his younger sibling who shared his pain.

While the two were still “friends”, Porky began treating Ness noticeably worse and often pushed him away or took advantage of him when needed. On the fateful night when the meteorite struck Onett Hill, Ness’ journey began after an encounter with Buzz Buzz, a time-traveler with a post-apocalyptic vision from the future. While Porky insisted that he wasn’t one of the Chosen Four, and in all likelihood he would not have gone even if he was one, he was infuriated and jealous with Ness for suddenly becoming an all-important person. Lured by the call of Giygas, Embodiment of Evil who would take over the world in the future, he found the thought of hindering Ness’ journey with pranks a good way to knock him off his pedestal. Pranks from painting people, houses, animals blue turned into criminal acts including kidnapping, theft, and attempts at murder.

After having hijacked a time machine from Dr. Andonuts, Porky traveled into the past to regroup with Giygas and the Devil’s Machine that encapsulated the alien. His body, unprotected from the effects of time travel, began to age rapidly and abnormally. Combined with the corruption from Giygas’ direct influence, Porky has achieved a state of immortality as a result. His mind, however, has become full of malice and justifies the subjugation and pain of billion for self-benefit. The Chosen Four confronted Porky and Giygas in special robotic bodies made to withstand time travel. Defeated, Porky escapes using his time machine and sends a letter to Ness in the aftermath, challenging him to chase him down.

Porky began to change history in his image and pollute time. With the remnants of Giygas’ forces and technology, Porky began constructing the foundation for his army. Kidnapping people from different eras, including Dr. Andonuts, Porky amassed his personal army and set course towards an island with the last remnants of humanity in the distant future. Befriending Locria, one of the Seven Magypsies, the guardians of the Dark Dragon that sleeps within the earth, he learned about the Seven Needles they guarded. Porky bided his time by conquering the last remnants of humanity by distributing wealth, introducing capitalism, and giving the populace reason to fear so that he can centralize himself and his Pig Mask Army.

Finding himself thoroughly bored with world conquest in just three years’ time, Porky began his campaign to pull the Needles. Only a person who can wield PSI can pull the Needles, but as luck would have it, one happened to fall neatly into his hands those three years ago. Using his army to locate and safeguard the Needles, he had the new commander race Lucas’ group for the Needles. With each Needle pulled, the world became that much closer to destruction. This was partly an attempt to lure Ness into this era and have him save the day in an epic final battle. On the surface, Porky proclaimed that the only way to create a world where nobody hated him was to wipe out all of humanity, leaving only him left on Earth.

With six Needles pulled, Porky invited Lucas and his party to his empire’s capitol, New Pork City, for the final showdown. In the Empire Porky Building, the skyscraper to end all skyscrapers, Porky waited at the very top, goading the heroes on. Having found the Needle, he raced the heroes for it, taking a head start. He ordered the commander to go and pull the Needle while he distracted the heroes, prepared to end this by his own hands. Once the life support/battle machine he used ran out of power, Porky summoned and retreated into the Absolutely Safe Capsule that he had Dr. Andonuts and the Mr. Saturns build. Without realizing that while he was protected from everything outside, everyone was protected from whatever was inside.

Porky sealed himself in his own eternal prison, fated to watch the world out from his window for billions of years until time ends. Though he achieved his world without anybody to hate him, all he has now is himself. Genuinely happy at first, being left alone with his thoughts would give him time to play out and reexamine his life ad nauseum. Just before the end of time and the universe, Porky felt his first tinge of regret.

Reincarnated History:

Porky Minch was reborn as Pokey Finch, son of a lawyer. His father was respectable and kind and certainly not in the least bit abusive. He cared for his son, but his occupation made them distant. He believed that with the money earned, he could ensure Pokey of a good education and happiness. While Pokey didn’t receive any negative parenting, the lack of any parental presence initiated a similar spark as in his preincarnated life. Combined with being bullied for his weight and awkwardness, Pokey felt bitter about his life and the people around him. Up till now, he hasn’t had a single friend ever.

In school, Pokey was considered by his teachers to be a bright kid, but with personality issues. In preschool, he was meek and quiet and mostly unnoticed. He began gaining in weight over the course of the years and as the bullying happened, he too started pushing around littler kids. Anybody who tried to get close was pushed away. While his schoolwork was near perfect, his teachers had their eye on him, thinking of him as either antisocial or trouble.

Pokey spent his after-schools over at the arcades or buying food for himself with his above average allowance. Now and then, he would draw pictures and imagine fantasies of him playing hero in space or some such. Pokey never had trouble finding things to do to alleviate his loneliness, but progressively; it’s easier to remind him of it.

Still, he was happy for what he had. He liked that part of the reason he was bullied was because others were jealous. They knew he was decently rich preyed on him for that. It gave him an air of superiority. Maybe someday, things would change, he thought. Till then, he was bullied, did the bullying, and enjoyed the wealth he had.

First Echo: Striped shirts aren't uncommon. Ball caps certainly aren't. But a combination of the two happened to be. During gym, his class was treated to a game of softball. The students were to organize themselves which meant Pokey had the familiar pleasure of being picked last.

One of the more enthusiastic students dressed up for the occasion too: in a striped shirt and blue ball cap which hid his blonde hair. He and Pokey never spoke. Even here, there was no reason to. They were on opposing sides. Pokey stood around, not particularly caring much for the game. When it was the striped shirt's turn to bat, a vague memory surfaced.

Maybe it was the sun in his eye, but the boy in the striped shirt's hair turned black and cap turned blue as he was about to make his swing. A name appeared in Pokey's memory: Ness. The vision disappeared as soon as the boy made his swing. It wasn't one to brag home about, but it was strong enough for an nonathletic boy like Pokey to fumble.

The ball hit him in the forehead and he lost consciousness. Later, he woke up at the nurse's office, leaving him by his lonesome to think about "the boy named Ness". It was a curious, irritable thought. It reawakened a want to belong.

Preincarnation Personality: Even by his game's creators, Porky has been called the “epitome of all selfishness”. Taking into account how he treats others, this is not all that far from the truth. If Porky sees that you are weaker than him, he will not hesitate in belittling you. One of the ways the boy has fun, after all, is by picking on others who are vulnerable. Conversely, if you are stronger than he is, he will start kissing up to you, pretending as if he was your friend. Whatever the case, Porky’s actions seem motivated largely by self-interest.

Porky’s penchant for mischief is combined with intelligence that easily surpasses any normal child. He's able to learn quickly and swindle people like a professional conman. Though not initially as capable of screwing mass amounts of people over, he still knew how to use words to get what he wants. Although physically weak and often times easily frightened, Porky’s mind is easily the most dangerous weapon he has in his arsenal. Unfortunately, he has little inclination to use it to help others. After all, what have others done for him? Not much at all, he would argue.

Beyond that thick layer of obnoxiousness, however, lies a sensitive kid. Despite how he treats others, in a strange way, he values his one friendship with Ness. This, of course, is not a side that he will show all too easily. It exists and despite his willingness to betray Ness and destroy the world, he still kept the yo-yo given as a symbol of friendship. Up till a certain point, Porky thought he was pulling pranks to get even with the friend he was jealous of. In time, they turned into acts motivated by genuine malice. This was a transition aided by external corruption, but Porky, being quick to victimize himself and legitimize his harmful actions, was in no hurry to change his ways.

The boy's greatest fear out of everything else is that he would be utterly alone. In a world filled with people who hate him, this is just how he feels. The only thing that could possibly alleviate that is if he destroys everyone or calls out to the only one who cares enough to chase after him. Porky wants to be proven that despite his paranoia of everyone in the world hating him, there's one person who cares enough. Clinging onto that, Porky also clings onto the happiest parts of his childhood, cementing his childlike state.

He claims that he is a god and his struggle is one against boredom. He toys with people and politics to bend their will to his. To alleviate his ennui, Porky is prepared to wipe out all of humanity as a part of his game. While he says that he fights against boredom or wants to destroy humanity, Porky's more desired wish is to be defeated. What he wants more than anything else in the world is for a hero to see his actions, care deeply enough about him, and end him. The reason that Porky gives others so many chances to face him is this. Unsatisfied with most of his enemies, he feels that Ness is the only one worthy enough to do it, only to be disappointed when he doesn't arrive.

Any differences: As Pokey Finch, he is no longer subjected to parental abuse, but all the same, has lost a brother and a friend. Much of his life is spent dealing with loneliness more than wondering why people hate him. That hate was defined by seeing preferable treatment towards his friend over him. Pokey hasn’t gotten into the habit of being afraid of others hating him. Instead, he recognizes independent sources for his misery like the bullies and disapproving teachers.

With no reason to go out on adventures either, Pokey’s life has been geared towards academics. He tries harder to live up to a distant, but supportive dad’s expectations. While not afraid of beatings, Pokey’s afraid of disappointing him. Pokey tries hard in school, only to stumble and crash occasionally. In contrast to Porky, Pokey’s superego is a little more prominent and it keeps him held back from engaging in too much mischief.

The wealth that his family has is something that adds to his pride over others. He uses it as a way to get what he wants and he recognizes himself as more in power than his younger self would have thought at first. In a way, this Porky is less inclined to become a dictator, but the potential is still there with the right push.

Abilities: Porky is immortal. Even if his body was cut into countless, tiny pieces, he claims that he would still be alive. At the same time, he probably isn't too distanced from a regular human to suddenly be able to regenerate at any given moment. His body has aged beyond repair, but his consciousness is anchored to the world and trapped in a perpetual, childlike state. As another downside, Porky has lost his ability to walk. He can move his arms around, but his legs are non-functioning. In his extreme age, it's difficult to leave his life support system for too long.

Despite that, Porky retains a dangerous level of intelligence. He can learn quickly enough to figure out how to toy with machines, even alien ones. There are Spider Mech tanks that he had in his possession. The first doubles as Porky's life support system and a mobile tank/bed. The machine is capable of limited flight and makes use of an alien source of power to shoot red-colored electricity as well as foul-smelling gas and bombs. Its edged legs are like blades when they're swung. The mech is outfitted with a stock of robots called the Porky units, doppelgangers of the tyrant's younger self. While only distracting at first, the robots can detonate like explosives if Porky either activates them or they sustain enough damage.

The last is an older model of the Spider Mech, yet built with metal that looks somewhat organic. It's not as versatile as the newer model, but it's still able to fly for a longer amount of time with its legs drawn back and shoot foul-smelling gas. It has no ammunition and for all intents and purposes acts more as an armor. For what it’s worth, though, this Spider Mech is quite literally a tank that moves like a vespa.

Roleplay Sample – Third Person: “Look what time it is! It’s give me your lunch money time, lil’ piggy!”

It was always “give me your lunch money time” from the moment that Pokey got off the school bus. He looked at the meat-headed lunk blocking his path in the middle of the path to school. Pokey backed away and gave a fake smile with his hands held up defensively.

“Hey, look, what do you know! So it is. But listen, uh, Trent… You mind if we postpone this just a little bit? It’s almost ‘get to class’ time too,” Pokey said, quivering, “Come on, we’re pals, right? Sorta?”

Trent loomed over Pokey, nodding, grinning, and burying his right fist into the palm of his other hand. This was his usual sign of “gonna punch you good”. It’s a part of their vocabulary study in sign languages.

“Yeah. Best friends,” Pokey muttered. He sighed and dove his hand into his pocket, picking out a fistful of dollar bills. Trent snatched it and gave Pokey a strong shove before leaving, bidding good bye with a “later, dweeb”.

Pokey grunted as he fell flat on his rear. He waved his messy bangs out of his eyes and gave his bully a good glare from behind. “Such a pig’s butt. Man am I sick of him,” he grunted, picking himself up. Brushing the dirt off of his person, Pokey stepped inside, ready for yet another fine day of school. “Someday, just someday, I’m going to say something that’ll cut through him like a knife. He’ll have to regret messing around with Mr. Pokey Finch.”

While this is a regular occurrence, something about today bothered him more than any other day. So he saw a kid wearing a striped t-shirt and a ball cap. It's old-fashioned, but nothing extraordinary. Even so, it elicited an alien memory. He remembered the form of a person he never met along with his name. What kind of a name is Ness anyway? Load of silliNess, Pokey told himself.

Still, that meeting with Trent have played out differently, Pokey thinks. He has no idea who this Ness person is, but Pokey can't help but feel safe thinking about him. Safe, but angry.

In the hallway, Pokey stopped. He stopped and twisted his body, getting into an awkward batter position. Pokey gave a good swing at the air with his invisible bat and looked high up to see how far it could have went.

“So stupid,” he grumbled as he made his way into his first period class.
Roleplay Sample - Network: [Video/April 20th]

So. Werewolves.

[The piggish boy gives an insincere smile, trying to keep his composure. Beneath those thick locks of hair if anyone bothers trying to look, are eyes that occasionally glance towards the right. That's where his window is.]

I know what I saw. My eyesight's 20/20 and I'm probably saner than the rest of you. At least I don't go around carrying or looking for swords like a creep. What I saw were... were werewolves.

[His voice drops at their mention.]

I'm really not into this kind of thing. Some of you might be weird enough to get a kick out of what's been going on lately. Animals suddenly going mad, people's houses being broken into... All that talk about aliens...

And now this. Just what else are we in for? I'm not waiting to find out.

[His lips curl into a smile and he points at the camera lens.]

I'm rich. I can pay well. I've got a good allowance. I'm in the market for a bodyguard, so if you think you're tough enough to fight off aliens and werewolves and whatever, get back to me and we'll talk. I know tough when I see it, so don't think this is a chance to steal a little kid's money and walk off.

You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. I've got a plan to get through this, but you're going to need to listen to everything I say. Okay?
Any Questions? Spankety, spankety!...?